How Do You Talk About Intimacy With Your Parents?

Yes, this is a legitimate question!  Part of my journey on deciding my coaching niche was being able to embrace the idea of intimacy coaching, while worrying about how my wonderful (yet slightly old school mentality) parents were going to receive the news.  I ended up asking my parents to define what intimacy meant to them, and was pleasantly surprised by both their answers.  I came to terms with knowing that I not only wanted, but needed, to provide a service that focuses on intimacy coaching, and forged ahead.  However, that was only part of what my journey entailed.  Now that I’ve started my business and am underway with my next steps of gaining traction for what I do, I’ve realized that blogging is going to be a large part of how I want to connect with others, and also get me in the groove of writing, as I would love to one day have a published book of my own (following in my father’s footsteps!).

But back to this blog’s topic, how do I allow myself to be vulnerable in my blog and share pieces of me, without thinking about how my parents might react to what I have to say?I am very close with my parents, they are truly incredible people and that is not just their daughter’s biased opinion.Trust me, and ask my friends, my parents are pretty awesome.But something we don’t really discuss is the topic of intimacy - and believe me I’m okay with that too!My parents are incredibly supportive of me, and I know that they just want to see me happy. 

This picture is from September 18, 1976, that’s right, over 40+ years of marriage for these two love birds!

I’ve gone around and around in my head on how to do this. Respect is a very high value for me, and I respect others and would never want to offend anyone.But I know that there may be some people who won’t want to read what I write, or may think I’m over-sharing.I don’t know if I’m ever going to feel like I’m over-sharing here, because for me it would never be over-sharing, I’m just coming from a place of vulnerability and sharing pieces of me as I see fit.And I cannot control how others feel.Out of everyone that may read this blog down the road, the people I truly do not want to offend the most are my parents. 

I’ve realized that when it comes to my mom, I am incredibly protective of her.My mom has an amazing ability to see the best in people, and she always sees the good in every opportunity, almost to a fault.There’s an innocence about her that is so endearing, you just can’t help but adore her the moment you meet her.I’m like her in so many ways.I will always give someone the opportunity to show me who they truly are before I come to any conclusions about them. 

My father is a genuinely caring human being.He loves to have engaging conversations and connect with people on deep levels.He’s a natural story teller, and even though my brother and I have heard some of his stories a million times, every once in awhile he’ll find a way to change up the beginning to get us just interested enough before we realize he’s telling us a story we’ve already heard.He’s also a no nonsense type of man.Even when he’s in a stubborn state, he’ll still hear what you have to say and then take time to think about it before revisiting the conversation with a level of curiosity.I too can be incredibly stubborn in my ways, and am very much my father’s daughter. 

With that said, I find that I want to protect my mom from things that she may not want to know about, and I want to protect the innocence of the relationship I have with my father, without tarnishing the view my parents have of me.Yet I find myself sitting here and typing this, and wanting to share more about the woman that I am today, the experiences that brought me to this moment in my life, that helped me realize the importance of having intimate relationships (with friends, family, and partners) in your life.

This is part of my journey, and one I’m trying to explore here.In future blogs I’m planning on diving into what those deep connections look like on different levels, and sharing some stories of my own that shaped my views on intimacy, relationships, and connections.

So, mom and dad, sorry in advance if anything you read here changes any perceptions you have of me - and know I won’t be offended if at any time you’d prefer to not read a post!

And to all the readers, thank you for taking the time to read today’s stream of consciousness!

~Nancy