May I Borrow A Cup Of Sugar?
There’s an old saying about borrowing a cup of sugar from your neighbor. From what I know this was the commonplace, reaching out to your neighbors when you needed something, before our more modern days with technology, cars, and grocery stores. In fact, when I lived in New York City I had my groceries delivered to me so I wouldn’t have to deal with walking and carrying heavy loads. But we are living in a different world today, and our relationships with our neighbors aren't necessarily what they used to be, especially depending on the region you live in. Which brings me to writing this post, how do you create an intimate relationship with your community?
I’ve moved around enough in my life, growing up in Indianapolis, attending college and living in Bloomington, IN, moving to NYC to start my professional career (and living in multiple neighborhoods throughout my 12 years there), and relocating to Asheville, NC to create what I hope will be a thriving business. In my professional life, I’ve always been able to make friends and create connections with others through my job. Let’s face it, the majority of the people we meet and friends we have often come into our lives because we meet through work. I was fortunate to work in different buildings and in different careers, and I left New York with a solid group of friends that I still keep in touch with regularly, along with wonderful professional colleagues and contacts.
Relocating to Asheville was a very different experience for me. I came here to start my business, which means working for myself and currently working from home. I’m not forced to be out in the community or meeting new people as I was previously. So how do you create those connections with others and become a part of a community on your own?
Okay, that’s not a rhetorical question, come on people and speak up! I certainly don’t have any answers here. It’s still a part of my process, and I’m still trying to get my foot in the door. For me, right now it’s about widening my circle. I moved here already knowing a group of people, my best friend included, and her inner circle (aka “the hedge”) welcomed me with open arms. But as I’ve launched my career I’ve realized that I need to cast a larger net, and look to people in the area for referrals and potential clients. The beauty of coaching is that I can coach anyone, anywhere, as long as we have a phone or video chat it can and will happen (unapologetic side note: seriously, out of town friends, if you know someone who needs some coaching, send them my way!). However, it’s been a struggle for me to figure out the best way to go about creating those connections.
So why the struggle? The majority of my friends would call me an extrovert, but I’ve found over the years that I’m only an extrovert once I’m comfortable and close with people. When I first meet someone new I tend to hold back a bit, and give myself a chance to get to know them first before just opening up about my life. I never did enjoy talking about myself (except to my mom) and to this day I can’t believe I changed jobs so many times, considering the interview process is ALL about talking about yourself. Yikes. But now I’m running my own business, and I have to be able to talk about myself and what I do, as my business is a true reflection of a piece of my life, and something I’m insanely proud of. So I’m learning, slowly, how to put myself out there and create new connections by standing tall and saying proudly who I am and what I do for a living, and so far have received some pretty awesome feedback about my coaching niche.
One great thing about technology is the ability to connect with people you may not have a chance to connect with on a “normal” basis. I joined a bunch of different Meetup groups when I got down here, but haven’t gone to any of the meetings yet. I will be attending my first Meetup group on Monday, a networking event for the area’s “Wholistic” Practitioners. I’m really excited (and slightly nervous) to make some new connections and put myself out there. I hope that this process helps me become more comfortable so I can start figuring out what this intimate connection with my community looks like for me. I want to be able to meet more people in my area, make new connections, and possibly (hopefully!) even some new friends.
So Asheville locals, reach out to me! Let’s create a connection and see where it goes. To the out of towners, reach out to me and we can connect via email, video chat, phone call, etc.! I’d love to hear what your intimate connection with you community look like, and what you did to cultivate those relationships.
(SIDE NOTE): I wrote this blog before I attended the Meetup group, and I attended today and it was truly incredible. I have never received a warmer welcome from a room full of people I had never met, and it was amazing. I definitely believe I am on the right path, and looking forward to the many more connections that will be created within my community!
***